Thursday, May 21, 2015

Color Me: [R]esponsibility

They sleep undisturbed in their deep slumber. 
Here come's the shining light that awakes them from a long and dark sleep. 
They are not happy, they are angry from being awoken.
A war has stirred upon the clouds.

It was thus my responsibility to awaken them from these dark slumbers.

Truth be told, the statement above was already saved as a rough draft when I came upon this draft to finally complete it. I don't recall writing that at all, haha. Mysterious...

Anyways, on tonight's agenda comes the optional R in PLUR[R] but the task it represents is not optional when it stands for 'Responsibility'. 

Paradiso 2014 was my first rave/festival and luckily, there were no deaths. For Pete's sake, I didn't even know people died at raves/festivals [shows how under the scene I was with raves]. 

Freaknight 2014 was my second rave and unfortunately I never got to experience the second night. Why? Someone died. For those who are new to raving as well, did you know people died at raves?

Life in Color 2015 was another I recently went to and found out another person had died. Why?

Apparently it was due to drugs and overdosing, I think. I pass no judgement when it comes to drugs and whether people do it or not. The option of taking drugs is the person's 'responsibility' to be safe while partying under the influence. 

I will probably never know why people are willing to push their limits to have a "little extra" fun when they could clearly enjoy it sober or even have a few drinks. I guess overdosing is one thing but if you end up with a bad batch of drugs... that is just as lethal.

Many are starting to share the options of "testing" out your drugs before consuming but we all know it's easier to pop one and go party. People seriously need to start paying attention to what they put into their bodies because you only get one life.

[google images]


A little about me when I go to raves:

I have a keen sense of observation and tend to look around constantly observing everything within my sight. Usually, there are people who are sitting against the walls or don't look to comfortable. I go up to them to make sure they are okay and leave them with a smile on their faces. Since I am also a kandi kid, I like to strike up conversations by trading pieces of kandi. 

*If you don't know what kandi is- beads [typically pony beads] and perler beads [iron on/melt] are created into beautiful pieces of bracelets, cuffs, and necklaces. Then they are traded through a special handshake using symbols and words of PLUR

In the end, it's your responsibility to take care of yourself and possibly those around you and always check on each other if you are taking drugs to make sure you guys are safe. 



Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Color Me: Respect

Everyone deserves Respect-
whether they be ordinary, disabled, elderly, or even the unique ones. 

I was inspired to write this post upon what happened last night at work.
[I have been quite busy with life and therefore could not catch up on writing for the blog].

I work at a restaurant [reaching my 5 years as a server] and things always happen, sometimes entertaining and others horrifying.

Yesterday was supposed to be one of my two days off during the week; I usually take those days to catch up on my readings and assignments for school which I attend full time. Due to recent events, two people have been fired and so I have been filling in way more hours than I could afford. Attending school full time [4 days a week] plus work 30+ hours a week is super time-consuming.

Anyways, there was this customer who came in with her son last night. She notified me that she has no specific allergies but due to her new naturopathic doctor she has been seeing, she is limited to eating certain food products that make things a bit difficult.

She said she was not allowed to consume: noodles, soy products, mushrooms and a couple other items like yeast. Well coming to the restaurant I work at, most things are basically swimming in soy sauce and noodles [it's a pho restaurant]. I pride myself in the customer service I give to all my customers at every single restaurant I have worked at- trust me I have been at many different restaurants in my short life-time.

I carefully went through the menu with her to give her alternative options and eventually came up with a plan where she can order a meal safely following all of her restrictions. That wasn't so bad right? I mean I was showing my 'Respect' to her as well as she was 'respecting' the extent to how far I can assist her.

Here comes along my boss who is also the cook behind the scenes, he struts up to the lady and tells her "we can make whatever she needs to be accommodated". Afterwards, I head towards the POS and input the order, then I go to the kitchen to confirm with him how the meal is to be prepared. He starts to throw a tantrum about how picky she is and that "IF" it was busy, we wouldn't be able to accommodate her needs, AND that I was doing my job all wrong (not assisting other customers and only spending time with her).

Woah, let's step back a few and reassess this situation.
[google images]

Other days, my boss would be telling me "customers are very important and treat them well" and here he is, telling me "I" am not doing my job right. Uh, excuse you?

*I apologize if this is sort of a rant but honestly, I thought this was the perfect situation for 'Respect' to come into play.

First of all, I would like to clarify that I had another co-worker with me at the time assisting the other customers. 

Secondly, it was not busy at all, maybe 3-4 tables at most. If it were truly busy, I would have to apologize to the lady and tell her I am unable to make accommodations to her meal due to the busyness. 

Anyways, after the boss threw his tantrum at me [which I felt was unfair due to the circumstances that this was my day 'off' after all, yet here I was being yelled at... for something I did not do wrong] I checked on the lady and her son [who actually had accommodations of his own regarding no shellfish  and no pork on his meal].

She kept complimenting how she enjoyed her meal and that everything was great! She kept insisting to me to let the cook know how great everything tasted. Of course, I wasn't going to keep this comment to myself and ended up telling my boss that she enjoyed every bit of her meal.

On the flip side, I am actually glad that I ended up having to work last night because I truly believe that if I were not there, the others would not have been able to be so attentive towards her restrictions and dietary planning. The funny twist about this [which I shared with her as well] was the fact that I am considering a future career in Naturopathic Medicine and she happen to recently start seeing the ND doctor. We had similar interests and I was able to communicate with her on a level people who are not interested in nutrition to a certain extent would not understand.

In the end, I was happy that I was able to put a smile on her face [and her son] because they were freely able to enjoy their meal. I personally know how it feels to be restricted on certain foods because I try to limit myself from the abundance of unhealthy food that bombards our every day lives.
[google images]

Now where does 'Respect' fit into this whole experience? Working as a server [and other jobs], I get quite little respect from those around me whether it be the customers or the management I work for.

Most like to think lowly of my position [doesn't just have to be the server status, even retail] and treat me disrespectfully at most times. We are all human regardless of our status in the working environment because respect is respect.

I am ashamed to say this of my own kind but Koreans in particular are the worst offenders I have experienced. I even told myself after the previous restaurant I worked at that, I would not work for a Korean management again but somehow I ended up back in a business with Koreans.

It's not the worst experience on Earth but they should really learn to respect everyone regardless of age or position in a job environment. I am sure other environments and ethnicities have their own issues but I also want to clearly state that this blog is based on my own experiences and how I have perceived such situations.

Respect, it isn't that hard people, just do it.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Color Me: Unity

[google images]


Unity means exactly what it sounds like: to be joined as one. 

Today's post was inspired by a recent conversation I had with the boyfriend. We have our differences in opinions in life since we aren't necessarily two people joined to become an identical one whole self. 

Unity within PLUR means to love one another without judgement or singling people out. Take them all under your arms with a big bear hug. What is a rave culture without PLUR? Why do people always talk about being PLUR as if it can be a lifestyle? Because it can, the world we live in is full of judgement, bullying, and leaving people out. We are all human and we just want to belong somewhere. 

When we are in a relationship, we try our best not to ram each of our head's into each other with differing opinions. I try my best to stay objective and I've learned from my past experiences not to become someone the other wants me to be. 

I've been broken down, shaped, and molded into the "perfect" girlfriend before because that is what I thought love was. To become the perfect girlfriend a guy could ever want. Boy, was I wrong about that. Then I went through a phase where I was being rebellious and decided I am going to be what I want to be and the guys I date can take me or leave me. Up to them if they can handle my fierce personality.

Fortunately for the boyfriend, he arrived at a great time since I have finally found myself and figured out all the knots and kinks in my identity/personality. As I am learning in my current psychology course called "Adult Development"- I have become a much more "well-differentiated" being. 

This means, I do not do everything someone tells me to do nor do I rebel at every beckoning need. Recently, we were talking about the whole nightclub scene issue again. As a brief note- I am still fairly new to the rave/EDM scene and as far as I know, I am in love with festivals. The boyfriend likes to be a hard ass about how the whole raving culture is MAINLY about music but to me, I see raving as more than just music. It's about the people you meet, the experiences you gain, and the environment that sets the mood. 

I completely understand how the boyfriend wants to go to all these nightclubs hosting famous DJ's that he admires and wants to see but for me, I absolutely dread nightclubs. They were never my scene and probably never will be. I have been going to all these events in support of the boyfriend getting to see the DJs' live. Everyone is different and we can't all like the same things as each other.

When the boyfriend is happy, I'm happy. Right? 
Who hasn't heard of that one before.



I didn't enjoy the scene much when I went but I still had fun because I found a way to enjoy the nights. Especially just being with the boyfriend and seeing him happy, made me happy. I guess the same doesn't go for him. He wants us to be both happy when we go to events and that's completely fair but there are some things that people are willing to go on a limb for. This is one of those moments because if we only ever did what was mutually decided to be fun... life would be very boring.

I am still willing to go with him as his partner rather than sending him off alone to a nightclub but he insists I shouldn't go if I will not have fun and dislike such settings. Unity comes into play because communication is important in a relationship as well as putting two heads together to think as one.

Someone once told me, it's better to be in a relationship where two people start from nothing and reach the top with everything instead of two people who meet with everything and end with nothing. I have been on both ends of the spectrum before- when you start with nothing, you build the foundation together and see the bigger picture together

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Color Me: Love

What does Love mean to you? Everyone has a different meaning of Love.

Girl: Do you love me?
Guy: Of course I love you.
Girl: Why do you love me?
Guy: Because...

Does this conversation sound familiar? Well of course anyone who has been in a relationship has heard these lines before. Usually it's always the girls asking the guys for their reassurance and understanding to confirm the guy they are with loves them [truly].


[I apologize for taking so long to create this next post, Love is a never-ending topic and I wanted to take the time necessary to make this post the way I want it to motivate and influence others how how Love should truly be handled- with care. I might even have to separate this post into two so it doesn't seem so lengthy.]


There are other kinds of love in this world and I am here to share the types of Love I have been given and delivered.


Let us briefly list the different kinds of Love we are familiar with:

-Significant Others
-Families
-Friends
-Pets
-And more...

But wait! If there is anything I have learned [22 years later in life] is to "love yourself".

[google images]


This is sort of a long story but I will try and keep it short of how I came to love myself before others.


There are many girls out there who can relate- I was looking for love [but what is love?] in all the wrong places.

Years and years, I have been used and abused through different types of people including the ones calling themselves "family" as well as "friends". I have learned to trust no one and within I couldn't trust myself either.

Once in awhile you hear things like "people should be more like dogs in the manner that they will always love you unconditionally through thick and thin". While living in California for a brief period of time, I wanted to give back to the world by volunteering at an animal shelter [with my passion for helping animals in need A.K.A. helpless].

After a few weeks, I noticed all the new dogs that came in and the ones that have left. I am so ecstatic when dogs leave although it is saddening to see them gone after you have spent some time with them. But happy for them that they found a loving home. Now there was this new one that came in, her name was "Delilah" [what a beautiful name], not to mention how beautiful her coat and overall figure was.

(I got lucky enough to find a picture of Delilah while I volunteered at the shelter).

Each day I went to volunteer, I was so excited to visit Delilah! Why? She stole my heart. I have never felt this way before and trust me when I say this- my friends and mom thought I was crazy for telling them that "I fell in love with her the moment I laid my eyes on her". I mean by the time she arrived at the shelter, I had already been acquainted with all the dogs there and I would be able to tell when there was a new on in town. 

I tell this story once in awhile and I still get goosebumps thinking of the day I first met her and the times we had spent together. [To be honest, our relationship wasn't about daydreaming and floating on clouds, I don't think she really cared that I was in love with her. All she wanted from me was... to get out of her kennel. One day, she sneaked past me and was on the loose- running all over the animal shelter I thought I was going to be in big doodoo. I eventually caught up to her and returned her back into the kennel]. This is exactly why she had a yellow sticker next to her name saying she is much harder to handle than the little rascals with green stickers. 

My time was ending due to leaving the state to go back to Washington since that is where my 'family' resides and they needed me to help financially and take care of household needs. My heart was so broken to have to part with my dear Delilah

Due to my circumstances, there was no way on Earth that I could adopt her for myself. That would be absolutely selfish on my part since I cannot provide her a comfortable home, the love and attention a pet requires, and even to financially support another living creature under my care. 

Who said I was never selfish? I knew I wanted her and my motto is "I get what I want". But getting what I want does not come that easily... there are hoops and obstacles I must go through. At first having seen which dogs get adopted and the requirements to adopt, I thought I would not pass to adopt Delilah. Thank God, I passed and I was the luckiest girl to be able to take Delilah home with me!

What was the point of this story? Fast forward a few years to the present. Within the few years I have been with Delilah, she has taught me many life lessons that I would not have been able to learn without her. 

First, she showed me that Love doesn't come easy. You have to earn Love and within Love, there are many factors that build Love. Trust, coming from a shelter she had trust issues. I have no idea what she has been through but like myself, we came from similar backgrounds pertaining to trust. Through trial and error, the two of us became attached at the hip and learned to be partners in crime. 

Second, she showed me how to "love unconditionally". We get taught in Sunday school that God loves us unconditionally but what does that mean exactly? I went through some difficult phases in my life recently and it wasn't pretty. Delilah had to take on negative vibes and situations coming from me due to stress and through all the hardships, she still loved me. She always loved me and continues to love me. I can't say the same for her. [Now listen up carefully, this is important].

She loves me unconditionally through thick and thin but I wasn't able to keep my promise to her. There are times I neglected her... I absolutely hate myself for doing this and there is no excuse for the things I have done to her. I am HER world and I am her only FRIEND ... yet I ignored her. She was only trying to be of comfort yet I excused myself away from her so I can be miserable alone.

Eventually I came around to learn from her as my role model [for Love]. I believe she was an angel sent from God to show me how to Love.

Third, thanks to Delilah- I learned how to Love and without her I wouldn't have been able to last this long in the relationship I have with my boyfriend. He would have been just another tool I used without Love. For the first time in my life, I learned to love a 'person'. All these years what I thought was "Love" was either an infatuation or just straight-up fake.



If you want to know what true love is like and how to love unconditionally, learn from your own dog. Not all dogs will be able to teach you such in-depth life lessons but I got lucky since we came from a similar background and was able to help each other get through our insecurities to trust and to love no matter what happens between us.