Unity means exactly what it sounds like: to be joined as one.
Today's post was inspired by a recent conversation I had with the boyfriend. We have our differences in opinions in life since we aren't necessarily two people joined to become an identical one whole self.
Unity within PLUR means to love one another without judgement or singling people out. Take them all under your arms with a big bear hug. What is a rave culture without PLUR? Why do people always talk about being PLUR as if it can be a lifestyle? Because it can, the world we live in is full of judgement, bullying, and leaving people out. We are all human and we just want to belong somewhere.
When we are in a relationship, we try our best not to ram each of our head's into each other with differing opinions. I try my best to stay objective and I've learned from my past experiences not to become someone the other wants me to be.
I've been broken down, shaped, and molded into the "perfect" girlfriend before because that is what I thought love was. To become the perfect girlfriend a guy could ever want. Boy, was I wrong about that. Then I went through a phase where I was being rebellious and decided I am going to be what I want to be and the guys I date can take me or leave me. Up to them if they can handle my fierce personality.
Fortunately for the boyfriend, he arrived at a great time since I have finally found myself and figured out all the knots and kinks in my identity/personality. As I am learning in my current psychology course called "Adult Development"- I have become a much more "well-differentiated" being.
This means, I do not do everything someone tells me to do nor do I rebel at every beckoning need. Recently, we were talking about the whole nightclub scene issue again. As a brief note- I am still fairly new to the rave/EDM scene and as far as I know, I am in love with festivals. The boyfriend likes to be a hard ass about how the whole raving culture is MAINLY about music but to me, I see raving as more than just music. It's about the people you meet, the experiences you gain, and the environment that sets the mood.
I completely understand how the boyfriend wants to go to all these nightclubs hosting famous DJ's that he admires and wants to see but for me, I absolutely dread nightclubs. They were never my scene and probably never will be. I have been going to all these events in support of the boyfriend getting to see the DJs' live. Everyone is different and we can't all like the same things as each other.
When the boyfriend is happy, I'm happy. Right?
Who hasn't heard of that one before.
I didn't enjoy the scene much when I went but I still had fun because I found a way to enjoy the nights. Especially just being with the boyfriend and seeing him happy, made me happy. I guess the same doesn't go for him. He wants us to be both happy when we go to events and that's completely fair but there are some things that people are willing to go on a limb for. This is one of those moments because if we only ever did what was mutually decided to be fun... life would be very boring.
I am still willing to go with him as his partner rather than sending him off alone to a nightclub but he insists I shouldn't go if I will not have fun and dislike such settings. Unity comes into play because communication is important in a relationship as well as putting two heads together to think as one.
Someone once told me, it's better to be in a relationship where two people start from nothing and reach the top with everything instead of two people who meet with everything and end with nothing. I have been on both ends of the spectrum before- when you start with nothing, you build the foundation together and see the bigger picture together.